Athletes often attract undesirable people who follow them around from competition to competition.
"'There are a lot of people who live in reflective glory. They all tend to siphon the energies of the very good and sometimes not sophisticated athlete," said Maryanne Simmons, who wrote a newsletter for baseball wives. Her husband Ted had a 21-year career as a catcher and also served as general manager of the Pirates. (1)
"People change around you. When a player participating in athletics starts becoming a star, you wouldn't believe how many people start patting you on the back. People will start gravitating toward you. Women are attracted to you when they find out you're an athlete," explained Walter Abercrombie, who played seven years in the NFL and is now director of education and special projects for the American Football Coaches Association. (2)
"Athletes are like a porch light turned on in the middle of the night in the middle of the summer. They attract lots of swirling things," said Calvin Hill, who played in pro football for 13 years and is also father of NBA star Grant Hill. (3)
"A contributing issue for athletes is the sheer boredom
of life on the road," noted Bruce Ogilvie, a well-known sports
psychologist. "Most people couldn't imagine life of this
kind. It is so deadly, especially for the young. So some players
are caught off-guard. They're certainly not sophisticated enough
to appreciate they've become symbols." (4)
High visibility athletes tend to attract the following types of
people:
1. Old friends and relatives who want handouts.
Family and friends are important -- as long as they value an athlete
as a person, not as a meal ticket. At a program to prepare NBA
rookies for a life in the pros, Alex English, who had a 16-year
NBA career and then became director of player services for the
Players' Association, said, "People are going to ask you
for things. If you say no, your homeboys will say, 'Oh, man, you
changed.' Well, you have changed. You've moved to another level."
(5) Two examples:
"The lifestyle is difficult. It may seem easy because you see people making a lot of money, but what comes with that is tough." (7)
Michael Wilbon, a sportswriter for The Washington Post, saw what happened to the athletes he covered. "I know two NBA players who go to great lengths to avoid their mothers because mom fleeced 'em for years. One doesn't go to his home town because he has to avoid his relatives. This season an NBA all-star, at the end of an interview, told me not to leave him alone with a guy who had been standing nearby. Who was it? 'My first cousin,' he said." (8)
2. People with questionable business deals.
Athletes are often the targets of business con games because they
are assumed to be rich, but naive. "Everyone [in the public]
knows how much money they make and everyone around them has a
scheme," according to Jerry Walker, then senior vice president
of the Detroit Tigers. (9) (This subject will be discussed further
in an issue on money management.)
3. Groupies offering sex.
Because top athletes have status in society, they attract people
willing to provide sex to get close to them. "Sometimes (baseball
groupies) find out where players are staying on the road and just
show up in the bar. Some women get obsessed; I've gotten faxes
and flowers. It can get a little weird," said Shawn Estes,
a pitcher with the Giants. (10)
Still, most people say the situation is better than it used to be. Ever since basketball superstar Magic Johnson revealed that he was HIV-positive, athletes have been warned about promiscuity. Jim Bouton, a former major league pitcher and best-selling author, had these words of wisdom to share on the subject: "Unfortunately, most athletes never learn how to pick friends. Athletes rarely know who their friends are, and that extends to women. For too many athletes, who you are depends on how many home runs you hit -- and how many women you have. That goes back to the days of Babe Ruth.
"In high school, athletes must be taught how to separate themselves from their fame. If they don't learn early, the games after the games won't change." (11)
In his book, The Dark Side of the Game, Tim Green, who played in the NFL for eight years, says that groupies who follow athletes around should be avoided for three reasons: they bring diseases, they disrupt marriages, and they can trap players through pregnancy.
Said baseball player Darryl Hamilton (who has been in the majors for ten years) "... after a while it loses its thrill. ... it's the same women every year and it gets old. I was out the other night and it was kind of embarrassing. Nowadays, I'd rather not go out at all unless it's someone pretty special." (12)
4. Obsessed fans.
Fans are an important part of sports, but athletes often worry
that some might be dangerous. When a crazed fan of Steffi Graf
stabbed Monica Seles at a tennis tournament in 1993, most pro
athletes began to feel more vulnerable. Some have hired bodyguards
to accompany them wherever they go. Female athletes are particularly
aware of male fans who come to every competition. Two examples:
5. Street agents.
These are guys who hang out where top high school athletes train
in order to befriend them and possibly steer them to certain college
coaches or pro agents. (NCAA rules don't allow coaches and agents
to contact the athletes directly.) Sometimes the athletes trust
the street agents to such an extent they don't listen to anyone
else. (This problem will be covered in another issue.)
It's nearly impossible for young athletes to find the right balance between friendliness and wariness. Therefore, it's no wonder that some of them retire from their sports careers feeling jaded. Noted Sam McDowell, a former big-league pitcher who is now a certified addiction counselor and licensed psychotherapist, "From the time an athlete is 7, 8, 9, 10 years old, whenever he starts to show he's head and shoulders above everyone else in his athletic prowess, the individuals around that athlete start to talk as if the athlete's value is all based on wins and losses. We know, in life, that that's not the way it really is." (15)
"You tell a kid from age 10 or 12, 'Hey, man, you're the greatest thing in the world,' and he sees his name in the newspaper, and he hears older people talking about him, he might start to believe some of it," said Tom "Satch" Sanders, a former Boston Celtics who is now the NBA's vice president for player programs. (16) Two examples:
Horace Grant, a teammate of Anderson's on the Orlando Magic, hired a bodyguard and had this to say about being in the public eye, "I learned over the years that you can't trust anybody, really. A lot of people wonder why we don't talk to a lot of fans or why we don't trust a lot of people. This one situation (involving Anderson) hit the nail on the head." (19)